Tuesday 9 September 2014

Unsung heroes: Neil...


Never has one man's face told such a story...





Coronation Street has never shyed away from it's more eccentric, sightly crackers or downright deranged characters (Tony Gordon, that Irish nurse who stalked Martin Platt, Don Brennan..) - but the newest one is rapidly becoming my favourite...



Yes, I am talking about the cuckolded Neil. The poor man. After working away in various danger zones to make sure his family had a nice semi-detached and garden, matching settees and cushions (the sort of house where you know they have a proper dinner service and cutlery...) he returned home to find his wife Andrea shacked up with him from Red Dwarf, and no idea she appeared on Dancing on Ice...





After having her head turned by a history course, a few nights out in the Rovers and a heart attack from space-invader turned cabbie, Lloyd - she decided this was the life she'd been craving. Yes, really... No amount of Michelle's eye-rolling, sarkiness from an increasingly bitter Eileen, nor Steve's gurning could stop these star-crossed lovers.


So, Neil was binned off. And, doesn't seem to be taking the news all that well. He's promised to give up fishing, sacked off his job (this time in the Philippines with a car!) and is becoming a fantastically unnerving, but really polite stalker. Happily asking, 'Ooh, what film are you watching?' - when asked to not stand outside his estranged wife's new home all night. Randomly interrupting her dates with tales of her pregnancy cravings, and leaving all his luggage at the airport when he legged if off a flight to 'win' her back... Or just grind her down (no jokes at the back, please).






My personal favourite has to be his bonding with a children's clown sent round as a wind-up by Steve and Lloyd in response to 'pizzagate'. In an ironic twist, the clown's wife had just left him too...

The clown and Neil penciled in a second date and will be, 'meeting for a pint soon'.





Good on you Neil - and may your campaign of (quite literally) killing them with kindness continue! 

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